A part of this story will be posted each week. :]
I stared at the floor. My heart was beating faster and faster. Thump, thump, thump.
The sooner I got out of this place the better.
I hated school.
Everyone here was horrible. Or maybe I just wasn’t the type of person to like people. I don’t know. Everyone pretty much ignored me apart from that fat ginger fuzzy-haired loser who trailed after me.
That sounds mean. Howard and I had no friends, and no matter how hard he tried to befriend me, I still shunned him. But...I couldn’t help it. I didn’t like him; I didn’t want to like him.
The bell rang and I was away. Finally it was time to go home.
I don’t know why I was so glad. Home was worse that school. At least some of the teachers are sane at school. At home, well...I had to get back to look after Gemma, anyway.
I was going down Evans road- and noticed a boy in too-tight trousers with a squeaky voice chattering away to his mum. Holding her hand. I gulped. Yeah, I shouldn’t care, I thought. Holding your mum’s hand is babyish. Still...I had to blink back tears. When was the last time Mum and I had held hands?
Howard spotted me and yelled out ‘HI JESS!’ He waved his chubby hand at me. “Look Mum, that’s Jess!”
His mum gave me a friendly wave and smile. I felt sick. I turned the corner even if it meant I had to walk the long way home. I immediately felt guilty. Poor Gemma would have to wait longer.
Gemma was my little sister. My reason to live. My angel. But Mum...she always forgot to feed her. She was only a toddler. I had to make do with feeding her before school, sneaking home at lunch, and as soon as possible when I got home.
I ran the rest of the way, and by now my heart felt ready to burst. I opened the door with my house key and found Mum sitting on the floor. Her eyes red and so were her wrists. She took a swig of whisky.
I helped her get to bed and fetched her a cold flannel for her wrists. I put on some calming music, and I think she fell asleep. I sighed, before going down to see Gemma. I changed her nappy and gave her her bottle, before kissing her head and putting her in her cot.
Poor little thing. This wasn’t the upbringing she deserved.
I then went into the living room. I found Yasmin sprawled across the sofa, her face blank. This is even worse than Mum. She doesn’t cry or cut. She just does nothing. She won’t speak to anyone anymore. She forgets to eat sometimes.
I hate men.
Dad left Mum. Mum = depressed.
Joe left Yas. Yasmin = depressed.
Me = Life sucks.
This was why, I pledged, NEVER, EVER, to fall for a boy. I didn’t want to end up like the others. Mum had been this way for months. At least up until just recently Yas had always been there for me.
Now, I had a ton of homework to do. I couldn’t be bothered. I threw it across the room and switched on the TV. I put on the EastEnders. Yasmin had loved EastEnders before. She stared blankly at the screen. I didn’t think she could even see it.
I felt betrayed again. Yasmin had told me she’d always be there for me. It was followed by sheer guilt.
-Suddenly the phone rang. Yasmin rushed to it. It might have been Joe. But Mum had already picked up on the extension. Hoping it was Dad.
It was Dad. Mum had obviously called him earlier, and he can’t have been in. He was calling her back. Yasmin sloped back to the sofa, but I listened in.
“Daniel, please. I can’t live without you.”
“Sue, you know I love Louise.”
“That bloody woman!”
“Don’t you DARE talk about my Lou that way!”
“Look- PLEASE. I’d do anything, ANYTHING for you. ”
“Look, Yasmin’s depressed – and- poor Jess has to look after Gemma constantly.”
“WHAT? You’re not looking after her?!”
“Because I miss you so much. Jess has to make dinner now-”
“Then they should come and live with me. You’re an irresponsible parent.”
“NO! I’d do everything again if you came back-”
Dad had hung up.
Dad didn’t mean it, did he? Surely we wouldn’t have to live at his house. Well, maybe it would be for the best for Gemma. And they’d actually do something about Yasmin. I wouldn’t have to work all the time, but...but...
I had to look after Mum.
I began to panic, having thoughts about Mum killing herself, before telling myself not to be so stupid. Dad wouldn’t come. Surely he wouldn’t...
I couldn’t sleep that night, all the same.
End of Part 1